Heart Worthy

Hey friends! It's lovely to be with you all again as this beautiful week has passed on by! I've been very surprised by this week. There have been both moments of gratitude and frustration. Have you ever had one of those weeks? One that shows you the beautiful and the ugly in your life all at once. It's been one of those weeks for me.

Even now, I'm writing this to you at 1:00 in the morning. I should be sleeping as we are getting ready to leave for vacation in the morning, but I can't sleep. SO many thoughts, to do's, and have to's. It's no wonder my head is spinning round and round. 

Have you ever been stuck? Stuck in the middle of your thoughts, your responsibilities, your daily flow? I feel stuck sometimes. Stuck trying to get from point A to point B ever so gracefully. Not allowing anyone to see my flaws or mishaps.

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But maybe it's in that middle place where the real beauty lies. Picture with me for a minute a perfect end point. What does it look like? How did you get there?

I know that my very best lessons have come from those middle places. That's where I've learned to trust God the most. That's where I had to surrender to Him or go completely insane. I've done my very best praying and praising in the middle. It's also where I've cried my hardest tears.

Why is it so hard for us to admit our brokenness to each other? Why is it so hard for us to stand up and say, "Hey world, I'm not perfect! Deal with it!!" 

When did perfection become the standard?

I remember being a kid walking into some pretty beautiful homes and standing awe inspired. I would start to dream about the life I would one day create. The hints of beauty I would strategically place around me to remind myself that this life is perfect. 

I remember finding what I thought would be perfect love, only to find out that I was strongly mistaken as my heart lie shattered on the ground. 

What makes something perfect anyway?

I watch a lot of tv. Probably way too much for my own good. But sometimes I just can't help myself. I get drawn into people's stories. Characters that I will never meet but truly grow a fond attachment for. I want to see their little make believe lives work out. I want to see their story end with a sweet little happily ever after. 

Maybe that's where my example of perfect has come from. A make believe concept that leaves me only feeling empty after 3 straight weeks of Netflix binging. 

But the funny thing is, most of the time I fall in love with their journey. With their middle. It's never really the ending that gets me. It's watching them find themselves in an all to crazy world. 

And ya'll know what? The thing I love most about God, is that when you ask Him to show up, He shows up. He shows up big.  

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

God is not holding back from us. So why am I not turning to my ever so perfect creator of the universe for His perspective on the "perfect" life? His ideas of perfect timing? His feelings on the perfect situation?

Maybe, if I'm being completely honest, it's because every time I put my heart into the middle desperately trying to find all of its perfection, I walk away with what feels like more broken pieces. Tears fall to the ground and I am so very lost and confused. But that's people stuff. I need to guard my heart from the craziness of this world. 

God, however, is so much bigger then all of that. He is heart worthy! He is worth handing every broken piece over to. Trusting Him will be my greatest victory. Sharing this journey with God, basking in His presence along the way, is the only true way I will ever find rest in the crazy and comfort in the stress. 

So if this is a season of middle for you (and basically, isn't every season one of middle?), then let me encourage you. God is for you! He is on this journey with you. And He is loving you, oh so tenderly, in the exact middle place where you are stuck. He wants to see you thrive, mature, and show His divine character to the world around.

But I think most importantly, He wants you to learn from this middle. Engulf the flood of knowledge that He is pouring over you. So that you will have the ability to be the brightest light to the world around you! Shine on friends!