Mirror, Mirror

Oh hi there, let me introduce myself, my name is Jenica (no middle name) Hannigan. I am a passionate lover of Jesus, His church, food and gardens – yup that pretty much sums me up –oh wait and tea. Something that also describes my life is for as long as I can remember I have had a love/hate relationship with the mirror. One day it is literally my best friend just smiling back at me telling me I am the fairest of them all and the next day there is bloated, crazy eyed girl just staring back at me looking for a fight. Okay, that might be taking it to an extreme but I am sure you have had similar encounters. Gosh mirrors are everywhere and there is not one that brings freeing truth into our lives. 


Let me explain myself, you see I was a very plumb happy young one until the mirror stopped me in my tracks and whispered ugly things to me. These things haunted me and called me to be perfect but it never told me that perfection wasn’t an option. So day after day, year after year, the lies of the mirror continued to draw me into a dark place of self-hatred. I thought that I could only be loved if I was the perfect version that the mirror showed me I needed to be.

THEN the miraculous happened and God picked me up out of that dark place, called me His beloved and placed me into a beautiful garden of freedom. Oh how I wish this was the end of the story of me understanding my worth and I could just tell you that Jesus could do the same for you. But we are not about fairytales here; we are about real life and real life as a disciple of Jesus. 

So real life is that the dancing around the garden was short lived because those silly mirrors are EVERYWHERE and one look at it and it started to shout lies to me. Lies that I was too fat, too young, too old, too tired, disgusting, broken, and not like “her”. Ah, I wish I could say those are the only ones but the lies go on and on and on. I would read my bible, hear I was loved, sing about the love of God, have beautiful times in Jesus’ presence and then look at a mirror and be bombarded and devastated by lies. What the heck Jenica, just believe you are loved already (I am shouting that at myself right now) but there is something bigger and deeper happening. 

We as Christian woman have forgotten or are unaware that there is a “fight” that has now become ours because we have been introduced to the garden of freedom. This fight however is not against those around us or ourselves, we fight the only one whose main goal is to kill, steal and destroy us.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." -John 10:10 NIV

God has fully equipped us for this battle. His presence is continually around us, His word is continually before us, His light continually lights our path. But we can’t sit this particular fight out because it is for who gets to define our worth...the liar or the Faithful One.

I am tired of knowing I am loved but not walking in what it really means and that is why I have come to a point where enough is enough. I desire health in my life both physically and spiritually and it starts with shoving the lies of the mirror where they belong – under my feet. Those lies have no truth, those lies do not define me and they do not define you. We can have a healthy understanding of food, of weight, of exercise, of getting older, of love but it requires a choice. I am on a journey, an every day journey, to not let a piece of furniture tell me who I am and what I am worth. Will you join me?